How To Date A Holiday

Christmas
Christmas calls ahead to let you know what gift to bring. It seems pushy, but it's ok because she asks you what present you want too.

The date comes around way too quickly and you end up shopping at the last minute. You don't get what she wants, but that's ok because she doesn't get what you wanted either.

You eat too much and drink too much and the bill for dinner is massive.

It looks like she is going to put out but in the end you are both too drunk and full so nothing happens. But that's ok.

Easter
She calls up when you are least expecting it and picks a very random day for a date.

The date starts well. She brings chocolate. Things end up carrying on all through the weekend and into Monday.

But all she wants to talk about is religion, and you part very awkwardly.

Valentines Day
She shows up looking ridiculously overdressed and smelling like the entrance to Myers. She orders the most expensive thing on the menu and expects you to foot the bill. You spend way too much on a present; she says all her friends got something better.

Then she offers to suck your dick for a dollar.